Date: Fri Nov 17, 2000 2:12pm

My Story:
Hi everyone, I'm so sorry if this becomes long and drawn out. It's 
been so long since I really talked about this because I had gotten so 
fed up explaining myself to no avail except "Take the meds...you need 
them". Anyways, I'll begin with the fact that I was always a very 
nervouse, low self esteem kinda person. Yes, there was some emotional 
and physical abuse as a kid that I'm sure added to that but, hey, 
alot of us have baggage that we get through. Before paxil I was in a 
terrible marriage, 2 kids, working my a** off. After the divorce, I 
had the same stresses as everyone else in these situations...chids 
acting out, job problems bills...etc.... The difference was I had a 
tough time handeling my life. On the outside it appeared pretty 
normal, but on the inside I was a nerve-wracked wreck! Couldn't gain 
weight, my mind was always obsessing about one prob or another, my 
concentration sucked(even as a child). Anyways, one day, I was rear-
ended by a truck. I felt fine(as fine as I always was anyways) I'm a 
smoker so I had the dry throat, lump sensation...plus I was extremely 
tired all the time...yep...stressed out! Anyways one day after the 
accident, I woke up feeling very spacey(another normal feeling to me) 
tired, slight stiff neck. That night while taking a relaxing bath, my 
neck felt like a tight, tight turtleneck or squeezing sensation. I 
freaked...my right leg and arm went numb, cold flashes and numbness 
on one side of face....off the the er. Whiplash was the diagnosis 
even though they couldn't give me clarity on the numbness stuff. I 
was put on muscle relaxers and anti-inflammitories, and pain killers
(what pain?) The next few weeks I spiralled down to a series of 
symptoms that were so frightening yet not understood obviosly by my 
docs.Exrays of my neck showed nothing. My symptoms were, lump in 
throat, tightness of neck, pressure on upper back and back of neck 
like a ton of bricks just sitting there, burning sensations at base 
of neck, pins and needle feelings, numbness, hot/cold flashes on 
various parts of my body, dry mouth. Those were just the physical 
symptoms...top that with crying jags, feeling sick, panic attacks so 
severe they went on for hours not minutes. I was incapasitated for 
about two months. I couldn't work, couldn't function normally. I went 
back to my doctor crying, begging for answers. His answer? Depression 
with severe anxiety/panic.I wouldn't believe it, I felt like I was 
dying or going insane and wanted to be admitted to the hospitol or 
psych ward. I went to my therapist......sounds like 
depression, anxiety and panic to her. She therefore makes an appt with 
a psychiatrist who does a battery of tests and comes to the same 
conclusion! Oh yes, I forgot to mention the racing feelings through 
my veins and the feeling of really not being there...like looking at 
the world in a dream. OK, now I have a bunch of so-called 
professionals telling me the same thing. Why didn't it happen before? 
Well, they say the car accident was the last straw on my emotionally 
stressed out plate,. Remember...I was not upset about the car 
accident...just the opposite in fact...seemed noone was hurt and I 
had great insurance coverage but according to these 
docs...subconsciosly, it affected me. Onward to paxil and klonopin. I 
will admit that it was a life saver. I felt better than I had ever 
had in my life. Like I was the person I always wanted to be. OOOps! I 
forgot a key part here in my story. Around the same time as my new 
friendship with paxil.....I started seeing a chiropracter who 
diagnosed whiplash and sever neck strain/sprain. She mentioned my 
symptoms as being all associated with the car crash....nerve damage, 
yada,yada,yada. So what I did was a combination of the drugs and 
weekly visits to the c.p plus massage and ultrasound therapy. Guess 
what? I got better! I quit smoking, started gaining weight for the 
first time in a long time and loving it! I really felt paxil was my 
savior! Never wanted to get off of it. Untillllllll.......the weight 
would not stop, I just kept growing and growing. I went from 105lbs 
to 165lbs. When I talked to my psych, she denied it was the 
paxil....My anxiety caused my metabolism to work too fast...the meds 
made it work the way it was supposed to. Did I mention the horrible 
heartburn? Hmmm, funny I go to see a gastrenteroligist who says, I 
need to loose weight! Whaaaaaaaat! Of course I start smoking again, 
and working out like crazy and sometimes not even eat...any 
change?????? NO! 3 times I've tried to get off this stuff, yes, the 
weight was my first concern, but since than I've come to realize that 
mabey I could have combatted these problems on my own without the 
drugs.When I experienced withdrawel, I was told that that meant I 
need to still be on this stuff.....for 4 years?? I thought this was 
supposed to be a 6 month to a year thing? On again I go. Next time 
withdrawel so bad I wanted to go into a pysh ward. No suicidal 
thoughts just the same symptoms as I've mentioned before...couldn't 
funtion. Last try, I was weaned with celexa....no withdrawels but 
hey, anybody that pissed me off heard about it. It made me angry and 
snappy and oh yes, I startled easily. Since my wedding was coming up 
I decided to go back to my buddy paxil until after the wedding...I'd 
dump it. Well, here I am..starting the dumping process and feeling 
like...can I do it? Can I actually live a good life without this 
drug? Can I and my family deal with the withdrawel? But most 
importantly....what if it kills me? I'm so sorry this has been so 
long winded. As I've said, I stopped talking about it because nobody 
listened, nobody cared. On that note.......Sherri 

Date: Fri Nov 17, 2000 11:46am

Response:
Sherri: You suffered, in all probability, a CLOSED HEAD INJURY in the 
accident. Your doctors were complete morons for missing that diagnosis. A 
Mild Traumatic Brain Injury produces all the symptoms you listed. You should 
NEVER have been put on this medication in the first place. IT WAS THE WORST 
THING THEY COULD HAVE DONE! YOUR DOCTORS ARE IDIOTS! You know how I know 
this? Because I had all those problems, too, but they were related to the 
accident, my injuries, etc. My accident was a rollover, car left the road, 
dropped ten feet onto the roof and rolled. It took five years to get the 
closed head injury part diagnosed, but by that time my brains had already 
been scrambled by Paxil. I complained of many of the symptoms you mentioned. 
But all the doctors said, "Well, you weren't knocked unconscious, so it 
can't be a head injury!" Now I find out years later that you do not have to 
be unconscious to sustain a head injury. It can happen in a rear-ender at 5 
mph. Please read this book: "Mild Traumatic Brain Injury." The library has 
it, sorry can't remember the author's name, but you will read it and go 
"THAT'S ME!!!!" And then you will want to throttle your doctors for being so 
stupid. 

Trisha 

Date: Thu Nov 16, 2000 8:48pm

Hi Charlie, and thankyou so much for the warm welcome! Actually, I'm
just now in the process of getting the heck off of paxil for the fourth
time! I won't lie....I'm terrified!~ It's helped me tremendously through
these last four years or so but at the same time, I don't want to be a
prisoner to this drug. I was put on it for anxiety/panic attacks...pretty
severe and debilitating but I want to try and tackle this in a more healthy
fashion. Right now, I'm at 20 mgs from 40. This week I do 20 mgs one day, 
15 mgs the next for a few weeks and slowly decrease in this way. 
I am sooo scared...other times trying to come off, the physical and emotional
withdrawals made me feel as if I were dying or going insane. 
I will appreciate any support/info I casn get to make this as easy a period as
possible. Thanx for your interest.

Sherri      

Date: Fri Nov 17, 2000 1:02pm

Hi Valerie....no, I havn't read the book, but boy oh boy do I plan on
going out and purchasing it! 10 years, huh? Wow, I'm impressed! Finally, I
hear of someone, a doctor no less, who believes and listens. I'm sooo glad I
found this support group, I already feel like I can talk to some people who
really understand. I'm so sick of the strange looks on the doctors faces
when I try coming off and experience weird feelings/sensations. My God, I
was put on this crap because of the weird feelings and sensations I was
dealing with! Thanx for the info....I'm right on it,

Sherri